November 16, 2009

  • Oh Baby You..... You Got What I Need

    Most of us have made poor choices in our past. We've endured the misery of being in failed relationships that left us broken-hearted, jaded, and cynical. We have had our share of bad dates that led to nowhere. And through those poor choices and mistakes, we've learned and came to realize what works and what doesn't work for us; and we refuse to settle for less than what we are looking.

    When people ask us about our standards and criteria, we rattle a long list of characteristics. Why? Because we believe that we know exactly what we want and need in a potential mate. I've experienced the heart-ache of a bad relationship, and I've had my share of disappointments. The more dates I went on, the longer my list got. Why? Because I am, too, believed that I knew exactly what I wanted and needed in a potential mate. Or so I thought.

    Lately, I've started to question myself about the list. While spitting out that long list of all these characteristics, I wonder if I really knew what is important, and what's not important. I wonder what qualities within that list are needed and what qualities are the just the extra toppings. People say that sometime we don't know the differences between our wants and needs. Furthermore, sometime what we want isn't what we need, and vice versa. A girl may want to get swept off her feet by a man who's tall, dark and handsome, but what she really needs is just the right man for her and she has to choose to be with him for the right reasons. But how does she know which one is the right one for her?

    We meet someone, we're attracted to him/her, and we feel connected. We then exchange experiences, and find out that we have mutual interests and common grounds. It feels as though we've found someone who can give us that warm and fuzzy feeling inside. Obviously, he/she has the characteristics and traits that we want and he/she makes us happy, but the question is, does she/he has what it takes to give us what we need for a lifetime of happiness?

    What we want isn't necessarily good for us. And in going after the person we think we want, we ignore what we really need. So how do we know which one we want, and which one we need? How can we distinguish the two?